Some of you may have noticed that I mention my family a lot but don’t have a lot to say about the Geek’s family. There is a very good reason for this and that is we don’t really have much to do with them. Well his mom specifically. I bring this up today because with the holidays the Geek is having a tough time with the relationship he has with his mother.
A little bit of background on the Geek’s family. The Geek is pretty much an only child. He does have a half brother that we have been spending time with since he lives close and he is sane. His father passed away about a year before we started dating. I knew him at the time but he was little more than a guy I knew and I had never met anyone in his family at that point so I remember his father passing away but I was not involved in it. At the time the Geek’s first marriage was disintegrating and because of all of that he was never able to properly grieve the death of his dad. He looked up to his dad a lot and we ended up naming Baby Geek after his father.
His mother never properly grieved either and ended up getting remarried to his father’s brother (his uncle) less that a year after his father’s death. This shook up the Geek a bit but he figured if his mom was happy who was he to judge.
At the time the Geek and I started dating he was living in an apartment his dad had built for him and his family in the basement of their house. I came into the picture and he came to the realization that it was time to grow up and move on. So we did. We bought a house that was half way between where I was living and where he was living. It was his idea to choose the town my family lived in and that I grew up in. So we moved and from that point on things with his mother got strained.
I quickly became the bad guy because I was the horrible woman who came and took her son away. There were several times where she would go crazy and they’d stop talking for awhile. I should also mention that she is also an alcoholic which contributes to things. The final straw happened about a year and a half ago when the Geek went back to her house to pick up a few things. She was working and no one was home except for the girlfriend of the guy who moved into the basement apartment. She and the Geek had talked and he got one thing out of the old apartment but never went into the other part of the house. On the way home, his mother called him accusing him of breaking into her house and trying to steal her money. She called several times leaving drunken voicemails making this accusations. This was, of course, far from the truth. She also never wanted to acknowledge the Baby Geek as her grandchild and as far as she was concerned the only grandchild she had was Little Miss Geek. Mini Me was most definitely not her grandchild because she was not BLOOD and this was so important to her. She went so far as to say that the Baby Geek was not the Geek’s child. I’m not sure whose child he was supposed to be but that was her claim. Anyway, they don’t talk.
She does call every now and then and completely denies that her accusations ever happened and the Geek is just the horrible son who ignores her. She even denied them when he played her the message. This all comes up because she called him today and was carrying on about his cousin’s new baby who they named after his grandmother (his mom’s mother). She won’t come visit her only grandson but carries on about other’s. It rubs the Geek wrong and me as well. She kept saying how wonderful her life is and how much money she has and how great it was that this cousin named their child after a family member. The Geek snapped and told her he thought it was special that we named our son after his dad but she never seemed to think that was worth anything and hung up. He came home in tears. I wish I knew what to do. She is so hurtful and it kills me to see his own mother hurt him so much. Every time this happens I squeeze the Baby Geek and promise never to do that to him. I listen to The Geek rant but ultimately, I don’t know what to do to help.