Drudging Through

The last month has been rough.  There has been a lot of illness, crisis and general craziness.  It’s been difficult on me to keep my focus on things and keep myself doing the things that make me feel the most healthy.  I shifted much of my own focus onto looking after everyone around me (who are all on the mend again, thankfully) and neglected to take care of myself.

Since the PEs, I usually do a decent job of giving myself what I need.  Usually that’s in the form of running and taking some quiet time for myself.  However, I neglected to do that and it hit me hard.  Just as my grandma was recovering from everything with her blood clots and my dad got his GI bleeding under control my body decided it had enough.  I got sick.  Really sick.  Gradually, an upper respiratory infection set in and did not want to let go.  So I was laid low for two weeks.  I saw my doctor three times in five days because my lungs were getting progressively worse and since everything they are very careful of infections in my lungs.  I was about a day away from pneumonia and hospitalization before I finally went to the doctor.  So, a strong course of antibiotics, inhaler, codeine and steroids later I am finally feeling better.

Fortunately, I managed to recover just in time to get back to the flower shop for Valentine’s Day.  It was probably too soon to be back but there was really no way I could have left Suzie to do it alone.  We were insanely busy and sold about 700 roses that day.

The other bit of relief I received upon feeling better was being able to visit one of my dear friends who is dying of cancer.  I wrote about my relationship with him and seeing him here.  The overwhelming rush of grief I felt when his wife called me and told me how things had progressed was intensified because I was as sick as I was.  I am so thankful I was able to make the trip to see him.

So, after this rough month, what I am doing to take care of myself?  Well, I’m easing back into a workout routine.  I was too sick to exercise and I can feel my lungs have tightened back up again so I’m back to slowly working things back up again on the treadmill.  I am really looking forward to a turn in the weather so I can get back to running outside.  The treadmill does not inspire me.  I am still seriously considering the triatholon in August so warmer weather will mean I can increase that training as well.

My visit with my friend has inspired me greatly with my own spirituality.  As you know I’m being a bit more vocal about it here because it is becoming a more prevalent part of my life.  It is the season of Lent in the Christian church and for me this means a time to grow my relationship with God.  As part of that I’m doing a contemplative prayer study with my church.  Contemplative prayers is really best described as a meditation, sitting quite and listening.  This is not something specific to Christianity and I think it draws us closer to our own spirituality and oneness with the world around us, whatever you believe.  I will be the first to admit that mediation is something that I am not good at so this class is a challenge to me to enhance this discipline in myself.  As I mentioned before, I feel God is pulling strongly on my life and I really want to use this class and this Lenten season to listen closely and see if I can find further discernment.  I will likely share some of my journalings from this class here.

So that is how February is progressing for me.  I hope you are all well and staying healthy and remembering to care for yourselves as well as those around you.