I want to share a bit of some of contemplative prayer journaling this week. We were focusing on nature and listening to God speak to our spirituality through the world around us. What I wrote today resonated with me a bit and I feel compelled to share.
The air is still cold and the wind bites at my nose, but all is not quiet. The birds continue in their song, refusing to be muffled by winter’s grasp.
The battle between winter and spring is coming to a head. In the end, spring will win, as it always does but in the meantime, winter will continue with it’s fight.
The whiteness of the snow gives the illusion of purity but all it is doing is hiding what is lies beneath. Beneath the white all is still dormant and brown. The snow is a temporary mask. When it melts away, a muddy mess is all that is left. But I can take heart because out of this muddy mess will come new shoots of green and blossoms of new life.
God is showing me my own life in this. I was covered with snow; putting on a mask that hid all that was dormant and dead within me. I held onto my snow because it was nicer to look at than the rot happening inside of me.
When the snow began to melt from me all that was ugly was revealed. My life was a mess. I wanted the snow back but God continued to let it melt away. When it was done, I was a muddy mess and I hated what I saw. I despaired. I was certain that I was dead and my usefulness to God was at an end. But I was wrong.
God is pulling at me again; reminding me that out of my muddy mess new life will come through God. I will once again put my faith in the Lord and once again I will come to bear fruit.